Expectations puts us in a compromising position when we're asked for something else. We get into something with a sketch of a picture of what it's all likely to be in our heads. I guess sometimes, we need to stop having expectations because it narrows us down to the few roads that everyone's taking on, it's getting a little bit too crowded. Everyone seems to want the same things - the same beginning, the same ending. Even as I'm writing this, I still want the ordinary, the road everyone is taking because it's safe and people like me loves assurance; we need assurance.
Fairy tales make us see things in one conventional way of something being beautiful. Everything else is horrid and ugly. It puts our mindset into a single mode and anything other than that seems wrong. Is it really wrong?
I think I like him more than I had initially planned, I've gone off course and now I'm lost. I didn't really plan to go this far. Heck, I thought I wouldn't even finish the first lap. And the more I learn about him, the more it assured me that this isn't what I want. It doesn't align with the story line the fairy tales had taught me to see. This is simply not what I had wanted.
Can I walk ahead knowing that he's no longer behind me? That's a hoe. But can I go along not knowing what's going to happen next? What if my heart splatters against the wall? Who's going to clean up afterwards? So I wonder if talking to him is a waste of time, or is it just too much in my head? I'll probably snap out of it and realise it was nothing to begin with, perhaps. Or is he taking me on another stretch of journey?
This is not what I had in mind. Do I still want it? Or should I just leave it at this?
